I’m finally finishing the Hope Defined series. I’ll move on to other projects and genres, but my heart will always be with this girl. She is me, and so many women who are told to “stay in your place.” Enjoy this excerpt from the book. I’ll post more over the next few days.
Hope was so nervous she could hardly breathe. Every student in physics class sat stiff, no playing around or joking this morning.
“It’s so quiet in here, you can hear a pin drop,” Ms. Sexton joked.
No one offered a smart aleck come back. They were all too nervous and tense to even hear the usual first-period announcements: the lunch menu today; the new math tutoring program; this week’s football spirit contest; the annual candy drive.
Finally, they heard what they had been waiting for. “Congratulations to the nominees of this year’s Crystal Cross Sky Honors, who have been nominated by their teachers based on grades, school involvement, consistent demonstration of unique, innovative ideas, and their potential for great contributions to society. They are to report to room 103 at lunchtime. In no particular order, the nine nominees are Caitlin Crawford, science; Thalia Roger, science, Stephen Easton, science; Gracie Kennedy, math…”
“Holy crap!” Gracie exclaimed.
“Shhhhhhhh!!!!”
“My bad,” came Gracie’s whisper.
Hope’s heart sank as the rest of the names were read. Hers was not among them.
All of the three birch switch whippings she’d had in her whole life had not been as painful as this.
She looked at Gracie again, and Gracie nodded her head toward Caitlin, Thalia and Stephen, who were high-fiving one another before hugging and linking arms tightly, Caitlin glanced in Hope’s direction and shot her a cold look of victory.
Hope sank in her seat. So this is what it feels like. Losing. Knowing you played fair, should have won, but lost because you weren’t “one of them.”
Hope swallowed and tried to choke back waves of hurt and defeat. Was this how it would always be? “Them” winning every time? What was the point of signing up to compete for the open spot? The teachers would only close out the list with another privileged kid from Crystal Cross.
After class, she shot out of her seat.
“Hold your horses there, Hope,” Ms. Sexton called as Hope watched Caitlin skip out.
“I wanted you to know that I nominated you. You’re a good, hardworking student, and very talented. You’re number thirteen in grade point average in the ninth grade. You hit the ball out of the park with your project, and I know you work hard in your other classes as well. I was so sure you would get a nomination. But Ms. Gray brought up an algebra grade you got recently. A ‘D’?”
Hope felt flames of fury and humiliation rolling through her chest. No. Way. She wiped away a tear, and looked back at Ms. Sexton. “I forgot about a quiz.”
“If you’re forgetting, then perhaps school is not your priority. If that’s true, then you’re not Sky Honors material, and maybe I was mistaken to think you were.”
Ouch.
“Was I?” Ms. Sexton pressed.
“No,” Hope muttered, her eyes falling to the ground. “No.”
“Not only that, but I’ve watched you and so have some of your other teachers. You’re going around now with some girls who don’t seem to be doing what you’re trying to do. Instead of going to the library to put in extra time, or coming to one of us for help, you’re joining a questionable crowd. You seem a little misguided, unsure of yourself. Even in here sometimes, I notice you’re afraid to speak up and be confident, like you’re afraid of what the others will think or say. Is everything okay? Are you having any problems? Are those kids bothering you?”
“No, I’m fine,” Hope lied.
Ms. Sexton paused. “You know, I’m going to share with you one of my favorite quotes. I think it’s not just appropriate, but necessary for you right now. ‘The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience…’”
“’…but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy,’” Hope finished.
Ms. Sexton smiled. “Very good. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is one of my favorites.”
Hope nodded and sniffed. “Mine, too.”
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but this is huge. You can’t afford to let others blow it for you. I expect better from you, and I know you can deliver.”
Soon as Hope rushed out the door, Gracie jumped into a stride next to her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Hope said, brushing past her.
“You’re completely screwing yourself. Why are you hanging with those punks who ride the bus with you?” Gracie asked.
“Why do you care?”
“They’re scheming behind your back and making you look like an idiot.”
“Whatever.”
“They’re trying to make you think they’re your friends when they’re not. Caitlin and Gwen put them up to it.”
Hope finally stopped. She faced Gracie in disbelief. “What?”
“It’s a game they’re playing. They call it Operation Solve Hopeless Case.”
The words were anchors sinking Hope.
“What for? Caitlin is smart with a rich daddy. She’s not worried about me.”
“Wrong. She’s very worried. Caitlin thought she had this whole Sky Honors thing sewn up, and then you made those planets fly. So she started some drama against you with the girls from your own neighborhood, to scare you and keep you caught up in drama. But you’ve got your head so far up your ass you don’t see it.”
Caitlin with Angel and Ivy? “Caitlin doesn’t even know Angel and Ivy.”
“She doesn’t have to. She knows Gwen. They’re on dance team together. Gwen does Caitlin’s dirty work for her. And Gwen’s been dogging you because she knows you won’t fight back.”
Hope’s knees almost collapsed, and her head felt light. “I can’t fight them.”
“Maybe not, but you have to toughen up, or they’ll kick you around for the next three years. You’ll be too scared to do anything and that’s what they want. You just have to make the final five in Sky Honors. If you do that, you won’t be Hopeless Case anymore. As far as status goes, winning something that major would put you on Gwen’s level. No, it would put you above her level.”
Etinosa had been right. The movies, the weed. They weren’t trying to help her be cool. They had set her up.
Her head was still spinning. First, she had to place her name on that signup list for the tenth slot in the competition. Beyond that, her brain raced through the obstacle course of everything she needed to accomplish in the next eight days, while at the same time keeping Gwen, Angel, and Ivy away.
In the next class, before Spanish started, Angel asked, “Hey, that thing they was talkin’ ‘bout on the intercom this morning. What was it?”
“Sky Honors,” Gwen answered for Hope. “Ain’t that right?”
“So was that the big competition you was talkin’ bout?” Angel asked.
Hope sucked in a shallow breath. She nodded her head and forced a polite smile, trying to show appreciation that Angel cared enough to ask. “Yeah. That was it.”
“Aw, man, and you didn’t make it. That’s too bad,” Angel said.
“Yeah, too bad,” Gwen repeated mockingly. “So I was right all along. You only smart in your sleep. I guess that means you ain’t no better than the rest of us, huh, Sleepy Smart?”